Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Lysol, Toddlers, and Barf. Oh My!

I learned last week that eventually your toddler will barf. All over the place. In the car. And you will survive.

If you read my blog, you know that I am NOT ok with vomit. Like the thought of cleaning another person's vomit gives me hives. When I get a stomach bug (which has been all too frequent since having a baby) there is lots of crying and needing my own mommy. It's bad, y'all. I'm not sure what the exact name for vomit phobia is but I have it. I have it BAD.

So last Monday Marmi was in town, and after we picked Mr. Robby up from Mother's Day Out (which should really be called Mother Does Laundry, Cleans, and Runs Errands For Everyone Else Day) we noticed he wasn't looking too good. His face seemed a little green. Wouldn't you know that in the car on the way home from getting Chick-fil-a, I hear gagging in the backseat. Followed by the worst sound ever. Mass amounts of vomit. Talk about ruining good Chick-fil-a.

I jump in the back (Marmi is driving) and assess the situation. It is not good. R ended up throwing up about four times in a row in the car. I actually SAW it projectile out of his mouth. I'm not sure if I've ever actually WATCHED vomit come out of someone's mouth.

Anyway, we get home and strip him down in the front yard and Marmi carries him directly to the bath. THANK GOD for Marmi. She always seems to be here when we are in need of help. And man was I needing support with my vomit phobia. I took a trash bag to the car and used about 2 rolls of paper towels cleaning up. And I have a confession to make. I threw away the clothes that Robby was wearing. I just couldn't deal. They went straight into the trash bag.

I learned that the trick to cleaning vomit is to breathe through your mouth. Because if you smell it, you will barf too. We finally got everything and everyone clean. Props to my cans of Lysol. It made me feel loads better to Lysol everything in the house and in the car. When I was little, my Mimi used to carry around a can of Lysol in her purse. Isn't that funny? I think that's where I get my germ-a-phobia from.

R threw up one more time but luckily Marmi was right next to him with a bucket. Here's a trick for the vomit bucket: line it with a trash bag and then all you have to do is tie the bag shut and throw it in the outside trash. Winning! Because you don't have to touch the vomit. 

Robby was so exhausted he fell right to sleep around 7:00 pm. I, on the other hand, only slept from about 3:45-6:00 am because I was listening for vomit. It turned out to be a silent night. Until I walked into R's room at 6:00 and saw that his entire crib and self were crusted in barf. I gasped and walked right back out of the room into the hallway to give myself a pep talk. And then the cleaning process began all over again. I sure had no idea there could be silent vomit attacks in the middle of the night. And I checked on him about 55 times so I have no clue when it happened.

Needless to say, we survived and somehow by the grace of God no one else caught the bug. Marmi got a good professional car cleaning and we sanitized the house from top to bottom. Marmi's car seat is as good as new thanks to a thorough cleaning and a new cover. I have to give MAJOR props to the Britax company. Naturally, I put the cover in the washing machine (even though the directions say to only hand wash) and the seams all came apart. I called Britax and told them I am bad and did not follow directions and put the cover in the washer and they sent us a new cover anyway. For free. What a great company. It took all of about 5 minutes to explain the situation and they didn't even argue with me.

In other news, the week before the barfing, Robby took a serious tumble over the back of a chair into a window ledge and gave himself two black eyes that took about two and a half full weeks to fade. I totally lost composure when it happened and called the doctor crying. Pretty sure they think I'm a lunatic. Grandma KK also had to come over and take a look at the injury. I learned that as long as they can still walk and their pupils look normal they'll probably make it. Although the doc did tell us R's nose still looked rather swollen a few weeks after the fall and that when all the swelling goes down we need to see if it looks crooked, in which case we will have to go see an ENT. Lovely. A toddler nose job? Lord, help us. I'm praying it doesn't come to that. Please send positive vibes for a perfectly straight nose.
Here's my little man and his swollen nose. Poor R.
Things have been uneventful after the black eyes and barfing. Except for me getting strep throat a few days before July 4th followed by all of us getting a cold. I guess it just never ends when you have a kid! Even my Lysol isn't a match for having a toddler in the house.

Happy Hump Day!

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